In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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