Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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