Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
