chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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