he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
