Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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