I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Hippo gnu deer
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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