i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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