careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
