he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
