Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
