I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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