I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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