It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So drunk its hurt
just come out here and I will go home with you...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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