WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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