All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
