Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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