Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
