I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
