I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
