Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
