So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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