So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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