Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
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I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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