I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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