In the future we'll all be gay
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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