Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this boner is exhausting
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
