My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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