6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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