Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
