On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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