his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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