Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
