Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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