i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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