He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize