i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
