Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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