Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
