There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
