It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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