The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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