Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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