We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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