You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I cockslap morals
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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