If i come over, it means nothing
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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