I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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