I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
