Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
