Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
