sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
