haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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