just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i will never coherently bang her
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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