I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
