how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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