There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
