if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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