i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
