god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
