did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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