wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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