ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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